Cher

Poor, poor me.  Lately that has been my saga. 

When I find myself wanting to be alone to collect my thoughts and regroup, I'm labeled lazy or unmotivated. 
When I tell the critics to back the fuck off and my assertiveness comes through, I'm labeled a bitch.  I long for a happy medium to satisfy the cher-hunger of those close to me, but I just can't come through for anyone lately.  What about what I want?  What about what makes ME happy? 

No one gives a shit about what I want or what brings happiness to my door.  Takers.
Oh, they say they do.  They wear that mask -- the one that looks like they're on your side.  "We love you and want to see you happy again."  Only to tell me in the next breath that I'm not doing enough to their liking.   

What's a girl to do?  Pop another Lexapro and call it a day?  Put on a fake smile while stroking the fuck you that's in my pocket? I've been choosing battles my entire life.  Now, I'm just fighting to win the war - the one with myself.

I realized last night that it's not that L isn't funny.  He just lacks wit and patience.  

He will say something that he interprets as hilarious, but won't give me the chance to absorb it and decide for myself whether it was funny before he starts cracking up laughing.  By that time I think he's just lame and even if every word of his intended comedic expression was to crack me up, the moment is completely lost.

 I am a kumkwat.  Don't know why.  It's just a fitting name for a filthy animal like me.

My last post was 58 weeks ago.  I haven't even reviewed my journal to see what it was about.  I have to get back to LJ.  For quite some time, my journal was like therapy.  I've been posting to LJ off and on for over eight years.  A lot has happened in that timeframe.   

I love the fact that I can go back and read about emotions that I was feeling shortly after my divorce, during my promiscuous phase, meeting Louis, etc.  I've gone back and made all of my previous entries private because while I was reading through them I realized that I really didn't like the fact that I got so personal for all the world to see.  And, I felt that those thoughts and emotions that I was going through at various stages of my life were just too personal and could end up in the wrong hands.  So, if you're reading this it means that even though I post only once or twice a year you never gave up on me and I appreciate that, but I doubt I'll make many public entries here on out -- unless perhaps I'm soliciting advice on some dillema.  I keep up with my myspace blog when I want to entertain the cyber world with my often satirical humor.  Here on out, this journal will be my memoir.  Perhaps I'll even leave the login and password to my children in my death - or not. 

But enough of the digression.  You learn a lot about yourself and your travel through life when you keep a journal.  When you keep a journal you can truly see how something that is such a crisis one day has no meaning a year or two later.  It makes me realize that there is so much that really doesn't matter.  Of course I'm an extreme optomist so don't listen to me.  Make your own revelations.  I want to hear from yo

Whassssup bitches?!

Quick observation made while standing in the refund line at the Chalmette Wal-Mart: There are some dirty, nasty-ass people living in Chalmette.

Also posted to neworleans.

I'm selling a car. 1991 Honda Civic Wagon. 5-Speed. It's a VERY cute car. It's 12 years old, but super clean and runs like a gem. I just bought it less than a year ago for $3000 and had a few things done to it. I am selling it because I'm getting something more practical for me, two kids, and three dogs: a '95 Nissan Pathfinder. Make offer. Serious inquiries only.
Email: cherbear75@cox.net OR just reply here.

It's the moment you've all been waiting for...
( Reunion Pics HERE )

Yesterday I posted a one-liner. A simple FUCK Jared. Some of you laughed. Not sure quite why you did even though it really was very funny (side note: I was just told that you laughed bc you thought I was talking about Jared the Subway guy...nope, not THAT Jared). This FUCK Jared thing is an ongoing inside joke between another LJ'er and I; however, she and I wanted to now make this slogan available to the general public. raynbo111 has an ex boyfriend named Jared who always treated her like shit and then tried to make her feel guilty about it. We've all had a Jared in our lives. Jared symbolizes that man who made you hate all men. Jared symbolizes not lost love, but wasted time. So to all you women out there and the Jareds in your life...FUCK Jared!

By the way, we have FUCK Jared bumper stickers coming very very soon. If you'd like one for $1, let me know and I'll give you more info on how to get one of those.

I ask you all to post this slogan in your LJ today and spread the word. FUCK Jared!

One of my very best friends, Michelle, wrote this to me. She and I have been friends since I was about 13 and her family moved into the house behind ours. We have grown apart a little in recent years, but we still remain close in many ways.

Cher,
I used you in a letter to my mother. Hope you don't mind...

I have friends who love me unconditionally. I have a best friend who is an atheist. She has blond hair. I have brown. She likes Sushi. I hate it. She drinks daiquiris. I don’t. I go to church. She don’t. She’s single. I’m not. I don’t have children. She does. But you know what? We still love each other unconditionally. We respect one each other’s opinions. We encourage each other to do better. We appreciate all of the lessons we have learned in our friendship. We never throw our past in each other’s face. That’s unconditional love. And we’ll be friends for a long time because we have respect and unconditional love for one another.

-Shell


There are so many people that we call our friends, but when we sit down and really analyze that friendship, is this person really a friend? Or is she more like an acquaintance? Could you count on him for ANYTHING? Would she hold your past over your head? Does he judge you? Michelle is a true friend. Even though we don't keep in touch as much as we'd like, and we've agreed to disagree on many things, I know that no matter what, I can tell her anything without that fear of judgement. That's a good feeling. Everyone should have at least one friend like that.