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Quick observation made while standing in the refund line at the Chalmette Wal-Mart: There are some dirty, nasty-ass people living in Chalmette.
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    Fallen--Sarah McLachlan

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All entries now friends only, so if you are a regular reader and want to be included in my daily chit chat, please add me to your list and I will return the favor.

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The lesbians next door to me are getting a bit out of hand. Now, I'm a big fan of lesbians, so it's not that. They fight all the time. "Fuck you bitch!" all night long. It's starting to interrupt my sleep. Now keep in mind that I also have two small children. So, I've decided to write an anonymous letter to my landlord in hopes that this will alleviate the problem. It sounds pretty good I think. But, I'm not too sure about that P.S. part. Tell me your thoughts.

Dear Mr. Landlord:

I have the unfortunate pleasure of writing this letter in regards to the lesbians, I mean tenants, residing at xxxmyaddressxxx, Apt B in Harahan, LA.
I voice the following complaints:
� Violent fighting (some physical) with the tenants and their guests. Some fighting would proceed to the sidewalk area. This has occurred on one occasion at 4am and lasted for over an hour. Someone even called the authorities due to disturbance of the peace, but it wasn't the girl in apt D because she would never do something like that.
� There are usually more than four cars for this residence. Two of which are ALWAYS parked in the visitor�s slot. I think the cars belong to their stripper lesbian licking....um friends. If these tenants in fact have visitors that would be one thing, but this is becoming a daily event. Most of the time the parking of these tenants makes it difficult or nearly impossible for others to move their cars--especially the sweet girl in apartment D. Poor thing.

I am requesting that something be done about the inconvenience this has caused to the rest of us that are trying to sleep while others are having kinky lesbian sex...er causing a disruptance.

Anonymous tenant

P.S. The girl who resides in apartment D, however, is the sweetest person I�ve ever met. I think you should give her three free months of rent. Hell, just let her live there for free.

Sound good?

Some lyrics fucking rock...

It makes sense that it should happen this way
That the sky should break and the earth should shake
As if to say sure it all matters but in such an unimportant way
As if to say

Fly away
Sweet bird of prey
Fly, fly away
Nothing can stand in your way
Sweet bird
If you knew the words
I know that you�d say Fly, Fly away

It makes sense that it should hurt in this way
That my heart should break
And my hands should shake
As if to say sure it don�t matter except in the most important way
As if to say

Fly away
Sweet bird of prey
Fly, Fly away
I won�t stand in your way
Sweet bird
If you knew the words
I know that you�d say Fly, Fly away

It makes sense that it should feel this way
That you slowly fade
And yet still remain
As if to say everything matters in such an invisible way
As if to say it�s okay

The Night the Lights Went Out in Manhattan (UPDATE)

I was driving into downtown New Orleans and was a bit behind schedule, yet the rest of my routine was the same. Listening to Wolfgang on the KUMX 1067.7 fm morning show, Rod was on vacation, I heard it for the first time. At first I thought that he was referring to the World Trade Center building in New Orleans, and that it wasnt all that serious because there was no terror in his voice. I quickly thought to myself that I now had a great excuse for being so late to work. Then I heard him mention New York City and the second tower and something about it "not being an accident". I switched the dial to other stations and couldnt get away from it. All I heard were accounts of people jumping from buildings, thousands perished, and it being far worse than that of Pearl Harbor. My eyes filled with tears as I thought about my friend Chris who works for the New York Stock Exchange. Never having been to NY, I did not know if the exchange was located in one of the WTC buildings, but that was my first thought.

All day Tuesday and Wednesday I tried to contact Chris at his suburban New York apartment as well as on his cell phone and could not get through. The lines were jammed. Finally about 4pm on Wednesday afternoon I heard his voice. It was his machine. I left a message hoping he could hear the fear of the unknown in my tone and return my call. Thursday morning I tried again and again. Busy. Then once more, I heard a ring from the other end of the phone and his voice. This time it wasnt his machine. It was him. We said our tearful hellos and he told me that he had received my message and tried to call, but had problems getting through as well. He then went on to describe his own experience of the day America was attacked by an enemy not yet known.

His story was much like the ones I had heard of New Yorkers being interviewed by reporters and giving their accounts of the events that unfolded. The exchange is located approximately one block from the WTC. He and his co-workers witnessed the first explosion as chaos and panic havocked on the streets below. With his back turned to the window that gave a perfect view of the twin towers and his eyes glued to the television, he saw the second plane approaching the south tower. At that moment, he and his office companions turned around and watched the most devastating tragedy ever known to this country. The second explosion was a lot worse than the first. When the plane hit the second tower, I felt it go into my back and come out of my chest. My whole building shook as did the ground beneath it, he told me. His building was then evacuated as he and a few others were contemplating just walking across the Brooklyn Bridge. Everyone knows someone in either the Bronx or Queens, so we were going to head in that direction in order to just get off of the island. And the buildings came down. Cher, words cannot describe what I saw. I could tell you that it was devastating and unbelievable and scary, but that just wouldnt even come close.

In the massive crowd, he lost the crew with which he was traveling. Clothes dingy, dirty, and covered with dusty pall, he headed toward Penn Station. I just wanted to go home, he said to me as he tried to hold back tears. I still have so many friends that I havent spoken to. I dont know if theyre dead or alive. I must have talked to so many people. Its frightening to sit on the phone day and night checking to see if your friends and family are alive. We all know someone who was in those buildings or may have been in those buildings. I, for one, know many.

I am due to make my very first trip to New York this New Years. Am I afraid? Hell yeah. And, Im upset for more reasons than the obvious. I will never get to see New York as she was. With her skyline permanently disabled and a scar placed on her face, there is a sudden awkwardness about heran ambient stupor. I hate that. I hate that Ive missed out on the city that at one time never slept. Tonight she snores.

How often do you play the lottery?

A lot has happened this past weekend. My friends who read my journal know the situation at hand already. For the others who may check out my journal from time to time, Id rather not relive the ordeal that I had to go through. Instead I will share with you an analogy that I made up over the weekend. Here goes
Relationships are like playing the lottery. You buy a ticket knowing that more than likely youre not going to win. The odds are tremendously against you, but regardless you still buy the ticket. When the night comes and they draw the winning numbers, do you throw away the ticket because you just know you didnt win? No, you check your numbers hoping that the ticket you hold in your hands is the winning one. And, when they call the winning numbers and you see that you once again lost, do you vow to never again play the lottery? No, you accept the fact that you lost this time and next week you purchase another ticket hoping once again that this is itthe one.
When I meet someone, I know that the odds are against me, but thats okay. I can accept that it might not work outthats being realistic and cautious about the situation, but I dont piss it all away knowing that more than likely were going to break up.
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    Sade--King of Sorrows

Money & Men

July 22, 2001.
Money. Money is a big problem these days. Not enough of it. Its just money right? Thats what someone told me the other day. I said to myself, Yeah, youre a doctor. Easy for you to say. Can money buy happiness? I think that if you are a mentally stable person and everything else in your life is goodfriends, love, work, etcand the only thing that brings you down is the fact that you cant make ends meet, then the answer to that question is yes. This is my case. If I had more money, yes I would be happier. Granted, my life wouldnt be perfect, but it would be one less thing I would have to worry about. The lack of funds doesnt depress me to no end, but it does get me down around the 1st and the 15th of the month. Bill time. Blah. Okay, next subject

Men. Gosh, Im going to sound like such a girl now. I met someone nice. What next? Should I call him? Hmmmits been less than a day since he dropped me off home from an awesome 28 hours together, so the answer to that question is NO. Okay, got that down. Now, should I wait for him to call me within the next few days or maybe give him a call sometime around Tuesday? He knows that I have Tuesday nights free, so I was hoping maybe he would ask me to do something. The good thing is that I will see him next Sunday afternoon at a party, so Im thinking maybe I should just wait until then to say hi if he doesnt call me sooner. Yeah, thats what Ill do. Dammit. I have too much estrogen these days. Im starting to get soft. This is so unlike me. Im usually the one keeping two feet on the ground at all times. No frilly froo-froo. Thats my motto. Dont get too emotionally involved too soon, Cher--me protecting myself. Yeah right. To all my girlfriends who have been listening to me all these months: Cher talks a good talk, but when it comes down to it, Im not much different than any other chick. The only thing different with me is that I have a lot more will power when it comes to people of the opposite sex, and Im able to school myself into the right direction. But, Im not always successful. Sometimes I fall flat on my face and fail miserably. The situation at hand is one that Im not going to fuck up. Im not going to call. Ill see him next Sunday and thats that. It sucks that people have to play these games and that if I like someone, calling and telling him so will screw everything up. The thing is, if one doesnt play along then she can never win. So rules it is I guess. Ive taken up enough of your time with my emotional garb. I am now going to get a drink with a friend to try and keep my mind off these issues of money and men. Thanks for listening.